Only/Already 365 Days

My first year with my son is coming to an end in a matter of days. I have been enveloped in the buzz of party planning; so, the little pain each first time mom gets has not hit me until tonight. He is so long now, I think that's what gets me most. And he will only keep getting longer. The past 362 days have been the most incredible ones of my life. Everything from figuring out how to change a diaper to figuring out how to bond with something that can't even see. Initially, I was terrified at the thought of raising a boy on my own, but luckily my dad has helped a lot: mainly moral and financial support. I was completely unprepared for parenthood, but never have I practiced such self-discipline, patience, and selflessness. God has taught me to be ready and prepared personally for anything; He has given me the strength to do so. After typing that sentence, I know that I will be able to handle toddlerhood well. I wasn't so sure 30 minutes ago. I wonder about our little future together, wonder if it will always just be the two of us. Sometimes I wonder if having a child and being single shuts the relationship door, but I don't think it's true. I know whatever happens is predetermined and best providing I follow God's will for my life. I just pray I am able to carry it out. After Sunday, things will be the same though a whole new world begins. Elijah won't be a baby anymore, he really is a kid...I really have a kid! I wouldn't change it for the world. Everything I had to go through to get to this point was worth it and I would do it again. Thanks for making me who I am, I love ya kid. Happy first Birthday. Love, Mommy.