Dear Postmaster,

I feel there has been a terrible mistake. I sent away two weeks ago for a Notice of Will and still have not received it. This is an untimely error and I would deeply appreciate it if you could personally look into the matter. I have a lot on my plate, you see, and am expecting God's Notice of Will to help clear things up. I am positive I sent my request to the right place, and He knows my address so I feel the mistake lies in the hands of the Post Office. Thank you in advance for your time and concern in this matter.

Sincerely,
H